...Friday, December 09, 2011
In memories of Ms Jacqueline Ho ♥To be truthful, I've never cried for a funeral before.
but this time round, it seems like we've lost a friend.
This week of stressing over MST & saddening over Jac's death..
was indeed a torture for all of us.
never a day enough of sleep,
never a day our eyes wasn't filled with tears,
never a moment we wasn't thinking about you,
because everywhere, facebook twitter news, was all about you.
why of all, its you?
why did your heart gave way?
6th December,
we were informed to head over MLT1 for an important announcement after test.
hundreds of students filled the hall with noises.
but never did we realised all the lecturers are holding back their tears.
and never did I thought, this announcement was the worse of all, and the hardest fact to accept.
I'll never forget how Ong Kung Yew broke the news to us and with all the other lecturers in the lecture hall.
he went "how many of you actually know Jacqueline Ho?" and most of us raised our hands.
"ok good, so almost all of you know who is she"
"so, Jacqueline actually collapsed outside her office yesterday in the morning and we called up the ambulance and had her sent to the hospital.... and few hours later about 3pm her heart actually gave way and she died"
that moment of extreme shock, that moment of unable to believe, we went HUH!
and what's left was complete silence. and the sight of tears. after that.
we completed 3 papers, and the remain 3 papers, we simply do not have any mood for it.
even if Jac didn't want us to be like this, we still couldn't help it.
you leaving was a big loss to all of your dearest.
8th December,
we prepared a bouquet of white roses (thanks to xiong's bro),
a photo of us with you,
and 8 letters from 8 of us.
after FSM paper, we headed to Singapore Casket with lots of buses.
SP students filled the entire area.
you even have to queue ! heard that some even gotta queue 2 floors down.
proceeded on to pray.. to take a last look at you..
Dear Jac,
you look so different.
without your smile, its just so different.
but inside us, you're still the pretty, bubbly lecturer, friend of us :)
9th December,
woke up especially early. because nothing was more important than sending you off the last time. giving you our last respect. saying the final goodbye.
even MST wasn't important anymore!
couldn't hold back my tears upon seeing the van with your pic,
your cremation. how your daughter cried.. those recollections of memories.
and what your sister in law told us. and that's how wonderful you are :)
May you leave in peace, still watching over your loved ones/us somewhere, somehow.
PS: i'm glad our bouquet of flowers was right on top of your coffin, and cremate together with you
glad that you've mark our papers, your final piece of work, and hoped we did you proud.
knowing your last message sent to a friend, was "I'm so happy christopher passed!"...
he should be grateful to you by not giving up on him.
but glad that he did it, and did not waste your time and effort!
we'll never see your smile again..
we'll never listen to your stories once more..
we'll never see how you get angry but still joke about it..
we'll never be able to say goodbye & take care after PR lessons..
we'll never see how fanciful your gel nails are..
and I wouldn't be able to see how shock you were when I wore a skirt.
Thanks for all your teachings,
your specially crafted module and written notes..
your direct tips that always guided us through exams..
your persistent in argueing with the school to bring 60 of us to phuket..
and so many other stuffs...
the pic chloe posts still aches us,
because that was how beautiful you're as a mother
and how much she misses you.
we'll remember & miss you lots :)
Wherever you've gone,
Celebrate life everywhere as what you did,
tell us that you're fine. :)
一路走好!
Our smiles were put up for you.
because im sure that's the last thing you would wanna see on us :)
